• Friday, February 11, 2011
  • Though I am not afraid of hard work, I do often try to avoid it. There is a word for this and it is called laziness. I am guilty of it in many ways and the answer to laziness is to be committed to hard work. This applies to marriage as well where to have a great marriage requires us to work hard at it. Real love for my wife is a willingness to invest myself in acts of concrete love for her and the daily labors to make our marriage a great one.

    Paul Tripp in his book What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage lists the following commitments of work that will make a marriage beautiful. To commit to these would make a great Valentines Day gift!

    1. A willingness to lose sleep so an important conversation can be completed.

    2. To listen and consider when you have communicated a concern.

    3. To care about your spouse’s true needs and gladly work to meet them.

    4. To work to communicate with your spouse in a way that is patient and kind.

    5. To look for concrete ways to support and encourage your spouse.

    6. To do the daily work of forgiveness and reconciliation so that you and your spouse can live in peace.

    7. To deal with your marital differences in a way that communicates appreciation and respect.

    8. To make time to enjoy your physical intimacy and friendship.

    9. To look for ways to help your spouse bear the burden of the responsibilities he or she carries.

    10. To partner with your spouse in the daily work of maintaining your physical surroundings.

    11. To never stop pursuing your spouse romantically.

    12. To not let the sun go down on a moment of hurt, misunderstanding, or anger.

    13. To look for ways to encourage and develop your spiritual communion.

    14. To studiously avoid conflict over things that are unimportant.

    15. To daily commit to overlooking minor offenses.

    16. To speak in a way that gives your spouse grace.

    17. To encourage and support your spouse in areas of interest that you do not share.

    18. To be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to keep your marriage a priority.

    19. To search daily for verbal and nonverbal ways to communicate love to your spouse.

    20. To not leave a conversation until you have reached unity and understanding.

    21. To never demand of your spouse what you are unwilling to give.

    22. To continually remind your spouse that he or she is not alone in the marriage.

    23. To do things you would not normally do simply because they make your spouse happy.

    24. To fight the busyness that would get in the way of giving your marriage attention.

    25. To be willing to sacrifice personal activities and leisure for the sake of your marriage.

    26. To work so your spouse has the downtime, rest and retreat they need.

    27. To work to build relationships of love and respect with your family.

    28. To not stop working until your marriage is all God intended it to be.


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