Chapter 14 – COMMUNICATION
Have you ever considered a communication strategy to your parenting? Your design for parenting directs what strategy you will use. When you are using a strategy of behavior modification, we usually fall into a “tell it like it is” form of communication. Those who let their children learn by discovery often use a “let it all hang out” strategy.
In approaching our children with a gospel-centered approach, the Tripps offer that we first speak with restraint, employing pleasant words and delighting to understand them. This approach reflects the wisdom of God’s Word:
Proverbs 17:27 - Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Prov 15: 28 - The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
Prov 29:20 - Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Prov 16:21 - The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
Eccl 6:11 - The more words, the more vanity, and what is the advantage to man?
Eccl 9:17 - The words of the wise heard in quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.
The goal of communication is to understand each other. To do so to your child is to only encourage them to communicate more to you because you are showing you are really interested in what they are thinking. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Questions:
1. What is your style of communication to your children? Do you “tell it like it is?” “Let it all hang out?” Speak with restraint, honesty, frankness and candor?
2. Have you ever wearied your children with your words? What often happens when your conversation carries on too long with them?
3. Have you ever said something you regret with your children? How can you prevent this from happening?
4. What hurdles do you put before your children when your words are harsh, loud, demanding, or demeaning?
Have you ever considered a communication strategy to your parenting? Your design for parenting directs what strategy you will use. When you are using a strategy of behavior modification, we usually fall into a “tell it like it is” form of communication. Those who let their children learn by discovery often use a “let it all hang out” strategy.
In approaching our children with a gospel-centered approach, the Tripps offer that we first speak with restraint, employing pleasant words and delighting to understand them. This approach reflects the wisdom of God’s Word:
Proverbs 17:27 - Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Prov 15: 28 - The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
Prov 29:20 - Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Prov 16:21 - The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
Eccl 6:11 - The more words, the more vanity, and what is the advantage to man?
Eccl 9:17 - The words of the wise heard in quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.
The goal of communication is to understand each other. To do so to your child is to only encourage them to communicate more to you because you are showing you are really interested in what they are thinking. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Questions:
1. What is your style of communication to your children? Do you “tell it like it is?” “Let it all hang out?” Speak with restraint, honesty, frankness and candor?
2. Have you ever wearied your children with your words? What often happens when your conversation carries on too long with them?
3. Have you ever said something you regret with your children? How can you prevent this from happening?
4. What hurdles do you put before your children when your words are harsh, loud, demanding, or demeaning?
5. How can you help your child know they are loved unconditionally and accepted so they feel safe sharing their deep and confusing thoughts?
6. How can you help your child when they answer you with “I don’t know?”
A recommended resource to you is “Everyday Talk, Talking Freely and Naturally About God with your Children,” by John Younts.
