RESCUE: A STARTING POINT

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  • Saturday, April 4, 2009

  • Being the parent of a teenager ought to be the easiest and most delightful time of parenting. For many parents, it is just the opposite. A famous leader of a national family ministry once commented that we should put our children in a barrel when they are 13 and then let them out when they are 18. Hardly the words of encouragement for parenting!

    This series of posts will be recapturing and expanding on many of the items brought to the parents and grandparents who went through the parenting teens class at church last month. I will try to post 2-3 times a week and invite your participation through comments or direct email to me.

    The goal of the class was not to provide answers for all the things a parent faces but to help change the paradigm of your home to one where the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the centerpiece of your parenting. You and your teen do not need a behavior modification program which will contribute to the pocket of some therapist. What is needed is the transformation of hearts that are oriented to God though Christ. It is knowing that whatever the issues are that you face, God has provided a means of redemption through Jesus Christ.

    The place to start in renewing your parenting is to renew your commitment and love for the gospel. At the top of this blog page is a logo for “Two Ways to Live.” Click it and review the message of the gospel. Do it everyday for awhile and let the message of the gospel sink deep into your heart so you see the workings of Christ in all aspects of your life. Then be ready to move forward as a parent with a new confidence that God will do a mighty work in you so you can be His instrument to bring it about in your teen.

    Moms of Teenagers

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  • Tuesday, March 31, 2009
  • The following is taken from the site GirlTalk. If you are a mom and do not have this site on your "to read online" list, put it on now at http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/. Carolyn Mahaney writes:

    Moms of teenagers—you’re up next. Building on our series from last week, what’s the first great deal for you? First and foremost: have faith.

    As women, we are all vulnerable to fear, worry, and anxiety; and few areas tempt us more than mothering teenagers! But faith must dictate our mothering, not fear. Faith, as it says in Hebrews, is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Heb. 11:1).
    Faith toward God is the foundation of effective mothering.

    Success as a mother doesn’t begin with hard work or sound principles or consistent discipline (as necessary as these are). It begins with God: His character, His faithfulness, His promises, His sovereignty. And as our understanding of these truths increases, so will our faith for mothering.

    The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6). Fear is sin. And as my husband has often graciously reminded me—God is not sympathetic to my unbelief. Why? Because fear, worry, and unbelief say to God that we don’t really believe He is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Ps. 86:15). We are calling God a liar.

    Even in the most trying situations with our teenagers, we have much more incentive to trust than to fear, much more cause for peace and joy than despair. That’s because, as Christians, we have the hope of the gospel.

    The gospel should provide us with tremendous heart-strengthening, soul-encouraging hope: Jesus Christ is “mighty to save” (Isa. 63:1). This should kindle zeal to share the truth of the gospel with our teenagers.

    The gospel is the good news of a saving God who is “a very present help in trouble” (Ps. 46:1). So repent from worry and put your trust in the glorious gospel.

    My husband has a Charles Spurgeon quotation as his screen-saver, which we would do well to have running across the screen of our minds: “As for His failing you, never dream of it—hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end.”

    So let our mothering forecast be one of victory and not defeat. We have the hope of the gospel in our souls.

    RESCUE: PARENTING TEENS

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  • We ended our 5 week class on parenting teens and it felt like I kind of left the class hanging. To help tie some of the teaching up, I will devote some writing time on this blog to a few of the issues addressed along with additional information not presented in the class. The audio for the first 3 lessons are below in one of the entries and the audio for class 5 will be posted later this week. Sorry that I missed lesson 4... I forgot to put the mic on ... :) I will post extra notes on those issues. HANG IN THERE!


    MY TOP RESOURCES FOR PARENTING TEENS

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  • Saturday, March 28, 2009
  • In putting together the class for parenting teens, I read several books the last two months that shaped some of the lessons. The following are ones that I would highly recommend to parents of teens:

    First of all, you and your teen need a Bible. Invest in a Bible with good binding (as opposed to a paperback edition) along with a good translation such as New American Standard or English Standard Version.

    The next resource I recommend is a good commentary on Proverbs. I taught Proverbs for many years at the Christian school and used Derek Kidner's book on Proverbs.
    The best book about parenting teens that I have read is Paul David Tripp's book "Age of Opportunity." It brings hope for the parent in dealing with the issues through the gospel. It challenges you as a parent that change and growth begins with you.

    The next resource I would recommend is for the parent of a teen who seems to be angry and rebelling. Rick Horne offers a new book "Get Outta My Face." Rick provides some great resources in how to communicate with an angry teen and redirect their self-centered desires to God-centered ones.








    The final resource that I would recommend is actually a book for both you and your teen to read, "Do Hard Things." It is written by two teenage boys who challenge and demonstrate that teens do not have to live in a world of low expectations. I found the book personally convicting and it has made a big impact upon many teens across the country. Read and discuss the book with your teen.