QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What is required in the ninth commandment?
Answer: The ninth commandment requires that we maintain and promote truth between persons and that we preserve the good name of our neighbors and ourselves.”
Scripture: Zech 8:16; Acts 25:10; Eccl 7:1; 3 John 12; Prov 14: 5, 25
MISSING THE TRIUMPHANT ENTRY
(Maybe this really happened)
Last Sunday, Isaac, our six-year-old grandson, was not feeling well and had to stay home from church with his mom. When Bill and the other 5 boys returned home, they were all carrying palm branches. Isaac asked them what the palm branches were for.
Eli, our 8-year-old grandson, said, "People held them over Jesus' head as He walked by."
"Wouldn't you know it!" Isaac fumed. "The one Sunday I did not go to church, Jesus shows up!"
IS IT TOO LATE TO REACH MY CHILDREN?
From Gospel-Centered Parenting by Rick Thomas, Counseling Solutions
It's never too late for your children regardless of their age
If your goal for your children was for all of them to be saved at a young age, then you may be disappointed and could become quite discouraged. Every child does not become a Christian and every adult does not stay unregenerate. From a human perspective there was little hope for us before any one of us were saved. But my condition, situations, contexts, and lack of Bible knowledge did not hinder God from doing what He wanted to do in our life. Death is the only experience that makes it too late for the unsaved to be saved.
Let your theology drive your hope and understanding, rather than your feelings
Your feelings may cause you to think it is too late, but you must remind yourself that those feelings are not born out of sound theological thinking. If you do believe it is too late for your children and you're partly the cause, then you need to inform your thinking with a better theology. Sound theology is not hopeless. And regardless of the mistakes you may have made, the Gospel has not lost its power. Let your theology drive your understanding and then speak to yourself with sound theology.
Guard your heart from comparing yourself to others
The woman in the temple gave two copper coins. (Luke 21:1-4) And because of her gift, she received the attention and the applause of heaven. Be careful about judging yourself based on wrong cultural or religious expectations. The only opinion that truly matters is the Father's. The Gospel-centered person should be able to rejoice in what God has done for his friends, even if the Father has not done the same for him. And if your children are not saved or not living for God, this does not make you any less loved or precious in God's eyes. Inform your situation with the Gospel.
Guard your heart from self-pity & doubt
When we yield to the temptation of self-pity, we are in essence saying we are self-sufficient. The self-reliant person becomes depressed, discouraged, or some other form of self-pity or doubt when things do not go according to his plans. What is really going on is that the person has a high view of himself and is discouraged because he did not meet his self-imposed expectations.
The humble, dependent, and Gospel-centered person will exercise hope in God, even when things do not make sense and/or there seems to be no way forward. What you may believe to be a failure does not necessarily mean that God is not at work. The Gospel is the most profound illustration of this.
Distinguish between real guilt and the false feelings of guilt
You have made some mistakes in your parenting. All parents have. I have made more mistakes than I can possibly recall. Making mistakes is part of who we are and it is the reason Christ came. When the Father reveals your mistakes to you, repent of them. But make sure that what you believe to be a mistake is truly a mistake. It would be wise to talk to someone you trust and who knows you, who can bring the Bible to bear on your situation in order for you to get help thinking through what is real and what is not real. Repent of what is legitimate and guard your heart from a false sense of guilt.
Tell your children what you have learned regardless of how old they are
If God is showing you a better way to parent or if He is giving you wisdom, even though your parenting responsibilities are mostly over, go to your children and let them know what you have learned. You may need to repent of the wrongs you have done. There have been a number of times I have gone to our children admitting that I was wrong in how I thought about and practiced specific aspects of our parenting. Humility and transparency could have an incredible effect on your children, even if they have their own families. Here are a couple of examples:
- Perhaps your children have already learned that you were wrong in certain areas, but do not feel the liberty to talk to you about some of your not so helpful parenting practices.
Your humility and transparency could be an open door to a new and better kind of relationship with your child. - Perhaps your children are not as informed as they need to be on parenting their own children. Maybe this late in the game wisdom you have gained will serve them and their children's children for generations to come. It would be unwise and unkind to withhold what the Father is teaching you, regardless of when you learn it.
If your children blame you for how they are turning out, own what you need to own, but consider walking them through the weakness or wrongness of their argument and the misguidedness of their anger. I think most of us could make a case and excuses because of how we have been sinned against. I'm not saying that being sinned against is not real or that it does not hurt, but at some point in our lives we've got to "get over it" and choose to follow God. No one was sinned against more than the Savior, but He was able to understand it and respond correctly to it. And if Christ is truly in us, we should also be able to understand and respond rightly to being sinned against. And just maybe, we will be able to walk our children through a God-centered perspective on how we have sinned against them. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. - Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)
This great text in Ephesians has historically been used to talk about how a person becomes a Christian. That is the theological and historical meaning of the text. However, I think it would serve a lot of us parents if we applied this text to our parenting. Not only were you saved by the grace of God, assuming you are a Christian, but so were your children, if they have been saved, or if they are to be saved. As I said earlier, this is not a call for sloppy parenting, but an Ephesian's perspective is essential. It is because of God's wondrous grace that any of us are saved, including our children. Parent the best you can, but hope in and pray to the Father even more. God is the One who will ultimately change our children, if they are changed at all.
My Shameless Appeal: Introducing CrossWalk
FAMILY CROSSWALK: SHAPING AND TRANSFORMING HOMES WITH THE GOSPEL
2nd and 4th Friday of each month, 7:00 - 8:30pm, Faith Bible Church, Room 1 (beginning May 13th, 2011)
Taught by Pastor George (no RSVP necessary; no childcare provided)
The principles of family life belong to God, Who has unique claim on the design, purpose and goals for a family. Our marriages and our parenting belong and exist for Him, not for ourselves. The struggles we usually face in marriage and parenting are often blamed on communication problems, commitment of a spouse or our children, or lack of information, but the Scriptures say that our main problem is our own heart.
In Family Crosswalk, we will discuss marriage and parenting from a variety of views, all leading to understanding that what is behind most of our issues is our own heart. By doing so, we can learn to deal with the real problems of marriage and our parenting and how to apply the gospel, which is the power of God over sin. These courses are open for anyone (we will finish early enough for you to make it a date night!).
The first topic will be “God’s Design for Intimacy: 1+1=1”. The word “intimacy” comes from the Latin term; “intimus” which means inner. In the medical world, the “intima” is the inner-most part of an organ. So by using the term intimacy, we will be looking at the different ways a husband and wife are to open their inner selves to each other. The two sessions in May will be on spiritual intimacy, June will be emotional intimacy and the two in July will be physical intimacy.
My Other Shameless Appeal: Introducing CrossTalk
CROSSTALK: CONNECTING ISSUES OF LIFE WITH THE SCRIPTURES
1st and 3rd Thursday of each month, 7:00 - 8:30pm, Faith Bible Church, Room 1 (beginning May 5th, 2011)
Taught by Pastor George (no RSVP necessary; no childcare provided)
At Crosstalk we will discuss some of the tough issues of life by examining definitions, causes, symptoms, and dealing with the issues from what God’s Word has to say about them. These courses are open for anyone – whether you have an interest in growing in your understanding of the topic, are dealing with the issue personally, or desiring to help someone else.
The first topic will be depression. Described by Dr. Ed Welch of Christian Counseling Education Resources as a stubborn darkness, depression can get to your very soul, corrupting everything in its path. Statistically, 8% of the population suffers from a form of major depression. This includes children and youth- and the statistics are growing in our society. Many others will struggle at one point or another in their life with some degree of depression that will impact them.
In the four classes in May and June, we will look at the different ways depression can set upon someone, understand what depression is, the help that can be provided, how the Scriptures address depression, and the hope in the gospel to the causes and symptoms.
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