QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What is the ninth commandment?
Answer: The ninth commandment is, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
Scripture: Exodus 20:16
MORE TEACHING ABOUT RESURRECTION SUNDAY TO MY GRANDSONS
(Maybe this really happened)
Here is another reason that our daughter and son-in-law make us nervous about their parenting of our grandsons. I figured that by age six it was inevitable for my grandsons to begin having doubts about the Easter Bunny. Sure enough, one day this last week, Isaac, the 6-year-old said, “Grandpa, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
Deb and I are convinced our grandsons are being raised by wolves.
THE LIST OF RULES WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN: Part 2
From Gospel-Centered Parenting by Rick Thomas, Counseling Solutions
We do not want to primarily teach our children rules; we want to teach them the Gospel. The Gospel is what the Father used to change us, not rules. Therefore, as parents, we want to think through how the Gospel has affected us and then prayerfully model and teach our children accordingly. Last week we read several characteristics that are soundly rooted in the Gospel. These are some of the Gospel-centered characteristics that make up our vision and values for our children. Last week we covered humility, gratitude, and kindness. This week:
Serving
Jesus did not need to be told to serve others. (Mark 10:45) He was our first missionary as outlined in Philippians chapter two. His life and death was characterized as that of a servant. He was the kind of guy who would wash your feet, heal your child, save your soul, provide you food, and raise you to life again. Jesus never stopped thinking about how He could serve other people. He lived and died to serve others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant. - Philippians 2:6-7 (ESV)
At some point in time our children should understand this and not have to be told to serve others. Serving is a "sixth sense" to the Gospel-motivated child and adult. Serving is the expected default response from any Gospel-centered person who sees a need and has the ability to fulfill that need. The Gospel-motivated servant is not self-protective, reserved, cynical, or fearful when it comes to esteeming others more than himself. (Philippians 2:3) The servant is willing to be vulnerable, bold, hopeful, and faith-filled as he presses into the lives of other people. He does this because his heart is filled with a desire to do for others similarly to what his Savior did for him.
- Do your children instinctively serve others? Without thinking, do they instantly respond with a servant's heart?
- Do your children willingly and with joy give up their rights and opportunities in order to bless and serve others?
- Do your children seek to make others great while also rejoicing when good things come to others?
- Are you modeling these things before your children? Do they see these characteristics in you?
Prior to the Gospel regenerating us, we were bound in our sin. We were miserable, selfish, nontransparent, and burdened with a load of sin. At some point it became clear to us that we could not bear our sin anymore and, mercifully, the Savior came to rescue us from the penalty of sin and the wrath to come. He also arranged things, because of the on-going power of the Gospel, to where we could repent anytime for any sin we commit. We no longer have to carry any of our sins along with us.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. - 1 John 1:8-10 (ESV)
The privilege of repentance is one of the biggest blessings for the Christian. But more than the freedom that we experience through forgiveness, the Christian also has the clearest perspective on who he really is. And though what he sees is initially dreadful, he is full of hope because of the changing power of the Gospel. The Christian does not have to distort the truth to fit his own selfish purposes. All he has to do is confess and repent of his sin in order to live in the freedom that the Gospel provides.
- How often do you confess your sins to your children and ask for their forgiveness?
- Do your children readily and humbly confess their sins and seek forgiveness from those they have offended?
- Is your home characterized as a confessing and repenting home?
#1 - Though there are challenges in practicing a Gospel-centered home as I have outline above, it is by far the best approach to living and parenting. It is only hard for the person who is not willing to humble himself. Without humility, a Gospel-centered home will collapse. And though it is a challenge for me to have a Gospel motivated home, because I am a proud man, I do know that the long-term effects of a rule-centered home is not only hard now, but will negatively impact my family for generations to come.
#2 - Rule-oriented parenting is a relationally-detached way to parent children. It is like a "hit and run" accident. The parent blows in, lays down the law, and then leaves. Gospel-centered parenting is radically different. It is not distant or detached, but it is relational. It is not a "hit and run" accident, but interactive and edifying. And most definitely, it is not "do as I say, but not as I do." If you miss the modeling aspect of this parenting approach then you need to not bother with this approach at all. Children have ingrown baloney detectors. They know when you are full of baloney. I appeal to you to not attempt this kind of parenting if you're not going to practice what you preach. Christ was not only the Gospel incarnate, but He lived it out so we would have an example to follow. (1 Peter 2:21)
#3 - Embracing and practicing the attitudes above will help solve any dilemma, challenge, controversy or decision that your child will ever have. These attitudes, and there are a few others, that flow out of the Gospel are foundational to how we live our lives. My prayer is that you will not only be able to understand Gospel-centered, Gospel-motivated parenting, but that you will be able to implement these truths to your family and they will be able to export them to their future families.
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