Our brother to the east, Eric Raymond of Emmaus Bible Church in Bellevue posted this piece on his website, Ordinary Pastor http://www.ordinarypastor.com/
It is a great example to you as to how to bring the gospel to your children in the events of their lives. Though it seems shocking, I remember running into similiar situations with my kids years ago. I did not handle it as well as Eric and say that regretfully. Learn from his example. (I did insert a short comment in the middle of it as he did not communicate one concept clearly which he later clarifies in another document)
As Christians we claim to have a worldview that is hefty enough to interact with and explain life in a consistent, clear, and logical way. We should not shy away from giving an explanation or an answer to what we see.
Therefore, when my son gets home and tells me he saw two dudes making out in the hall, I had better have something to say. It is time to put the gospel insoles in and actually walk the walk. What follows is a quick summary of where I went recently as I tried to impact and instruct my son (and my own heart!) with the gospel.
Listen and Learn: First and foremost I was glad that he talked to us about this. I wanted to hear what he thought and how he responded. I wanted to hear his commentary and editorial. This helped me to learn a bit about my son. You don’t get opportunities like this every day. The events of the day force a reaction. What is it? This is parenting gold.
Be Disgusted: It is probably of little surprise that my son was disgusted. Even if you made it past the title without breaking out the ‘bitter beer face’ you probably remain disgusted by the thought. It is right to be repulsed by sin.
Diagnose the Issue: The best question to ask is “why?” Why is this happening? The Bible has answers to these questions. All sin, including homosexuality, is a result of The Fall. We live in a post-Genesis 3 world. Sin is rebellion against God. But notice there is a broad net that is drawn, even in Romans 1, to show that the heart of rebellion manifests itself in many different ways. In my view, before going any further, it is important to note that the issue here is sin. This gives us the proper redemptive context.
It is helpful also to remember that all unbelievers are hungry and hurting without Christ. They are hungry because whatever they are trying to feed themselves on is not suited to satisfy them. Even if these things are created things they are not intended to bring the satisfaction and happiness that only God can bring. And they are hurting because there is guilt before God and pain before men. There is the guilt of sin and the sting of relationships. Life is fractured and it hurts.
Give Fornication its Black Eyes Too: I asked my son if it is common to see guys and girls kissing in school. Of course he said yes. Are we then less repulsed by fornication than homosexuality? If we are honest, the answer is probably yes. Why? Well, perhaps the thought of two guys kissing is so far outside of what is right. It is just in your face wrong. However, a guy and a girl, well, at least they got the teams right. Right? (Eric is not trying to say that kissing is fornication but his point is heterosexual verses homosexual sin)
This might help us to think through what we think about sin. You don’t get extra credit for sinning sexually with the right gender. All sexual sin is sin. Therefore, to the biblically sensitive eyes, fornication and homosexuality should be equally offensive. You may not buy that. But you had better at least be biblically consistent in your view of sin. I need to come down as hard on the porn-addict, the husband with wandering eyes, the adulterer, and the fornicator. Christianity is not all about bashing Gays. Right?
Prevent Moral-anity: If the issue is sin (fornication, homosexuality, porn, whatever) then does that mean that the kids who are not doing these things are all right? After all, there a lot of kids in his school that are not making out in the halls (straight or gay), does that mean they are good?
If Christianity was all about making people seem like they were good it wouldn’t need ‘Christ’ in it. We could just call it ‘Moral-anity’. But this is not what Christianity is about. Christ came to save sinners. He came to rescue rebels by giving his own life for us. He lived the perfect life in the place of sinners who couldn’t and wouldn’t. He is the law-abiding, wrath-satisfying, death-stomping Savior! He doesn’t come and give a code of conduct, he comes and gives himself as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
This is why the Christian message to homosexuals is not merely a message aiming to convert them heterosexuality. Instead, the message to all people (gay or straight) is that we are all sexual sinners in need of a Savior! We all need Christ for redemption.
I need to remind myself and my son that the gospel works first on the internals before the externals. The gospel deals with the heart and then produces fruit. Therefore, everyone in that school, teachers and students alike, is in need of the same rescuing grace. This is a great opportunity to reset the reach of depravity and the shams that get passed off for salvation.
Put the Gospel to Work: Well, what is the answer? What do these people need? What do we need?
We need the gospel.
It was good to remind my son that he needs Christ as much as they do. He is in need every hour for the perfect righteousness of Christ. He does not depend for one second upon his own moral conquests to present him faultless before the throne. Instead he must be fully depending upon the righteousness of Christ.
Remind of the Mission: In light of all of this he has to remember that he is a missionary. All Christians have been called to proclaim this gospel to a world that is hungry and hurting. The school is a microcosm of society and the snapshot of where our city is headed. Therefore, make and take opportunities to love people with the gospel. Remember the broad biblical categories of sin and redemption. Remember the Savior, who himself was on mission to rescue people, even rebels like us from sin, Satan, and death.
The gospel produces a humility over sin. It reminds us that the field is pretty level. All people, including Christians, need Christ. And no Christian will ever boast in what he did or did not do before Christ. Instead, we will boast in what Christ has done and has not done.
This is where the beauty of Christ comes to bear. He calls out to the hungry, hurting, unsatisfied souls to come to him for rest and the removal of guilt:
(Mat 11.28-30) Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
He comes to satisfy hungry people. He comes to make guilty people feel no shame. This he does by taking our guilt and filling our souls. It is only Christ whom the hungry eyes of men may focus upon to find rest from the weary hike through this world. He is indeed a better Savior then I think him to be; and it is my hungry heart that reminds me of how I forget this.
Conclusion
All this is, is a plea to be biblical. It is an opportunity to put the gospel to work. To think through how the gospel intersects with the problem, diagnoses it, and cures it. It is a reminder to be on mission with Jesus in a world that, as evidenced by its calibration, needs him more than ever.
It is a great example to you as to how to bring the gospel to your children in the events of their lives. Though it seems shocking, I remember running into similiar situations with my kids years ago. I did not handle it as well as Eric and say that regretfully. Learn from his example. (I did insert a short comment in the middle of it as he did not communicate one concept clearly which he later clarifies in another document)
What Do You Say to your 15 Year Old Son When He Sees Two Dudes Kissing at School?
As Christians we claim to have a worldview that is hefty enough to interact with and explain life in a consistent, clear, and logical way. We should not shy away from giving an explanation or an answer to what we see.
Therefore, when my son gets home and tells me he saw two dudes making out in the hall, I had better have something to say. It is time to put the gospel insoles in and actually walk the walk. What follows is a quick summary of where I went recently as I tried to impact and instruct my son (and my own heart!) with the gospel.
Listen and Learn: First and foremost I was glad that he talked to us about this. I wanted to hear what he thought and how he responded. I wanted to hear his commentary and editorial. This helped me to learn a bit about my son. You don’t get opportunities like this every day. The events of the day force a reaction. What is it? This is parenting gold.
Be Disgusted: It is probably of little surprise that my son was disgusted. Even if you made it past the title without breaking out the ‘bitter beer face’ you probably remain disgusted by the thought. It is right to be repulsed by sin.
Diagnose the Issue: The best question to ask is “why?” Why is this happening? The Bible has answers to these questions. All sin, including homosexuality, is a result of The Fall. We live in a post-Genesis 3 world. Sin is rebellion against God. But notice there is a broad net that is drawn, even in Romans 1, to show that the heart of rebellion manifests itself in many different ways. In my view, before going any further, it is important to note that the issue here is sin. This gives us the proper redemptive context.
It is helpful also to remember that all unbelievers are hungry and hurting without Christ. They are hungry because whatever they are trying to feed themselves on is not suited to satisfy them. Even if these things are created things they are not intended to bring the satisfaction and happiness that only God can bring. And they are hurting because there is guilt before God and pain before men. There is the guilt of sin and the sting of relationships. Life is fractured and it hurts.
Give Fornication its Black Eyes Too: I asked my son if it is common to see guys and girls kissing in school. Of course he said yes. Are we then less repulsed by fornication than homosexuality? If we are honest, the answer is probably yes. Why? Well, perhaps the thought of two guys kissing is so far outside of what is right. It is just in your face wrong. However, a guy and a girl, well, at least they got the teams right. Right? (Eric is not trying to say that kissing is fornication but his point is heterosexual verses homosexual sin)
This might help us to think through what we think about sin. You don’t get extra credit for sinning sexually with the right gender. All sexual sin is sin. Therefore, to the biblically sensitive eyes, fornication and homosexuality should be equally offensive. You may not buy that. But you had better at least be biblically consistent in your view of sin. I need to come down as hard on the porn-addict, the husband with wandering eyes, the adulterer, and the fornicator. Christianity is not all about bashing Gays. Right?
Prevent Moral-anity: If the issue is sin (fornication, homosexuality, porn, whatever) then does that mean that the kids who are not doing these things are all right? After all, there a lot of kids in his school that are not making out in the halls (straight or gay), does that mean they are good?
If Christianity was all about making people seem like they were good it wouldn’t need ‘Christ’ in it. We could just call it ‘Moral-anity’. But this is not what Christianity is about. Christ came to save sinners. He came to rescue rebels by giving his own life for us. He lived the perfect life in the place of sinners who couldn’t and wouldn’t. He is the law-abiding, wrath-satisfying, death-stomping Savior! He doesn’t come and give a code of conduct, he comes and gives himself as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
This is why the Christian message to homosexuals is not merely a message aiming to convert them heterosexuality. Instead, the message to all people (gay or straight) is that we are all sexual sinners in need of a Savior! We all need Christ for redemption.
I need to remind myself and my son that the gospel works first on the internals before the externals. The gospel deals with the heart and then produces fruit. Therefore, everyone in that school, teachers and students alike, is in need of the same rescuing grace. This is a great opportunity to reset the reach of depravity and the shams that get passed off for salvation.
Put the Gospel to Work: Well, what is the answer? What do these people need? What do we need?
We need the gospel.
It was good to remind my son that he needs Christ as much as they do. He is in need every hour for the perfect righteousness of Christ. He does not depend for one second upon his own moral conquests to present him faultless before the throne. Instead he must be fully depending upon the righteousness of Christ.
Remind of the Mission: In light of all of this he has to remember that he is a missionary. All Christians have been called to proclaim this gospel to a world that is hungry and hurting. The school is a microcosm of society and the snapshot of where our city is headed. Therefore, make and take opportunities to love people with the gospel. Remember the broad biblical categories of sin and redemption. Remember the Savior, who himself was on mission to rescue people, even rebels like us from sin, Satan, and death.
The gospel produces a humility over sin. It reminds us that the field is pretty level. All people, including Christians, need Christ. And no Christian will ever boast in what he did or did not do before Christ. Instead, we will boast in what Christ has done and has not done.
This is where the beauty of Christ comes to bear. He calls out to the hungry, hurting, unsatisfied souls to come to him for rest and the removal of guilt:
(Mat 11.28-30) Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
He comes to satisfy hungry people. He comes to make guilty people feel no shame. This he does by taking our guilt and filling our souls. It is only Christ whom the hungry eyes of men may focus upon to find rest from the weary hike through this world. He is indeed a better Savior then I think him to be; and it is my hungry heart that reminds me of how I forget this.
Conclusion
All this is, is a plea to be biblical. It is an opportunity to put the gospel to work. To think through how the gospel intersects with the problem, diagnoses it, and cures it. It is a reminder to be on mission with Jesus in a world that, as evidenced by its calibration, needs him more than ever.
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