A book I recently read that is outstanding and highly commended to you is “Counsel from the Cross” by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson. In their chapter “The Gospel and Our Relationships,” they write:
Over the past thirty years or so, the church has produced much material on proper relationships in the family. Hundreds of books on family life have been written, and proper roles for husband, wife, parents, and children have been defined. Because God has established the family and told us how to love each other, many of these books are useful. We do need to know what God’s perspectives and desires on our relationships are, and we should seek to embrace them.
The problem with a large majority of these books, however, is that they have pointed out the obligations of the gospel without first rehearsing the declarations of the gospel. Like most of us, these authors have made the mistake of assuming that we have heard enough about the gospel so that we don’t need it any longer. Focusing on the obligations of Scripture without mentioning the declarations of the gospel has resulted in a works-oriented perspective in family relationships and idolatry of the family, and in despairing or self-righteous husbands and wives and children who wonder why it’s so hard to obey. When we forget that Jesus is our Savior, seeing him merely as our example, the motivation to love as he does eludes us.
So even though the relationships we have within our families and at our schools and workplaces are paramount in importance, most of us haven’t been taught to think very deeply about how the primary relationship in our lives – that with God through Jesus Christ – impacts and influences us.
--p157.
